Raging Storm
by Natalie Elizabeth
Summary: The storm inside the cabin was worse than the storm raging outside. What happens when CAstle and Beckett head out to the sticks to speak to a suspect but have to deal with things maps, trees, mud and other stuff. Will it make Castle and Beckett reveal things they never intended to? How will it effect their friendship?
1. Chapter 1

Raging Storm

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Set: Mid season 4

Authors note: Ok so you can blame LittleLizzieZentara for this. She told me she had an idea for a one shot story that she really wanted to get posted before this weeks ep. Its the ep here **Spolier alert... **Castle hears Beckett admit she remembered everything from when she got shot. I informed Lizzie that I had a story idea that would explain why Beckett kept it a secret. I was going to wait and write it after I finished _Aint No Mountain High Enough _(another one of my stories, if you haven't read it yet, go check it out. . No I have no shame promoting my own story ) However I thought it might not make sense if I posted it after we all knew the truth, or my ideas were going to be the same as AM. So I thought well if Lizzie is going to try and get her story up I might as well try to. The result is this story. I never intended it to be this long. I actually thought it was going to be a one shot, a medium length one shot. It turned out being so much bigger than I had intended. I started writing this at 11:30 am Friday and have now finished it 12:30 am Monday. With 8 hours work, 5 hours shopping and 5 hours at my parents house getting in the way. Whoa I cant believe I even did it.

So my thoughts and reasons may seem a little different to what you would expect but its something I have always felt and finally decided to share it with all of you, I hope you enjoy.

Oh and go and check out Lizizes story to. Its called Kate's Apology. .net/s/7954954/1/

I'll be checking it out after I load this up for you guys.

Ciao

Castle looked from the map in his hands to the road in front of him. Well road was a relative term, they had left the sealed road about 20 minutes ago, this was a dirt track. The GPS had only taken them so far, a map from a diner they had stopped at was leading them this final distance. He turned to look at the woman sitting beside him, she didn't look happy. As the journey took them into their third hour her face looked more and more tense. Oh this was not a good idea, being stuck in a car with Beckett when she was angry. If she started shooting he had nothing to hide behind except his wits and he even doubted them.

"Its not that much further, see." He leaned over and showed her where they were on the map. The window he had open, much to Beckett's dismay let in a gust of wind causing the map to slip from his fingers.

"Castle," Beckett screamed as the map blocked her vision.

She took a hand, off the steering wheel to swat the map away, but it seemed to have a mind of its own thanks to the wind. Castle leaned over and practically bear hugged the map in order to capture it. He quickly pulled it out of her way, only to get thrown against Beckett's side as she swerved to miss a tree that loomed up in front of their car.

"Castle," she yelled again. "There is only one road leading to the cabin now and this is it. Put that map away before you get us killed.

Castle turned the map around and upside down before deciding there was no way he was going to be able to fold the map the way it had been. Scrunching it up, he quickly threw it in the back seat, they would deal with it later. Hopefully when she was calmer.

"Thank you and would you wind your window up its freezing out there."

Castle did what he was told and quickly wound it up.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?"

Beckett glared at him and he cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke. They were out in the middle of the woods, anything could happen to them. Hell anything could happen to him and Beckett could claim it was an accident. Accidents happened all the time in the woods, no one would think anything of it.

"Gee Castle, I don't know. Maybe because it took us three hours to get here. It's almost 5 o clock. I don't know about you but I have been up since 5. We still have to speak to the suspects brother and then drive home again. To top it off I think it's going to rain."

Castle shrugged.

"At least your not alone"

Beckett shook her head. "Keep on bothering me and I will be."

Castle winced. Ouch.

Beckett slammed her hands against the streeing wheel.

"What would possess you, to get all excited about going on a trip out to the middle of nowhere in front of Gates. You know she still hasn't warmed up to you yet, and jumps at any excuse to get you out of the precinct. I could have sent Ryan and Esposito out here to speak to the victim's brother and we could have been safe and warm in the precinct. Instead here we are a million miles from nowhere with the heavens about to open up and a paper map hell bent on killing us."

Castle sighed, well at least he knew why she had seemed so angry. He didn't like driving in bad weather, especially when he didn't know where he was going. So he could understand her frustration. Even though Alexis was staying at a friend's house and his mother would be god knows where, being at home nice and cosy was much better than travelling to see the next of kin. Yet it had to be done. His friends had put up with lot of crap because of him and he wanted to return the favour, wether they knew it or not.

"I'm sorry Beckett it's just I had no plans tonight and I knew you didn't either."

"So we are here because you didn't want to get bored tonight." She took her eyes off the road briefly and rolled them at him.

Was it normal for him to like the fact that she did that, rolled her eyes. She rarely did that anymore and he missed it.

"No, not because I was bored. It was for Esposito, well Ryan too, but mainly Espo."

"You dragged us out in the middle of nowhere for them. That makes no sense."

Castle sighed. "Remember when I couldn't find my phone and I thought I left it down in the morgue."

Beckett nodded.

"Well when I went down there Lanie was talking to someone. I didn't want to interrupt in case it was important so I hung back and listened."

"You eavesdropped" Beckett interrupted.

Castle threw his hands up. "Ok so I eavesdropped, but I think you will be interested in what I heard."

Beckett gripped the steering wheel and rolled her lips before deciding ok she did want to know.

"Fine spill" she barked when he didn't continue with his story.

"Lanie was talking to Esposito."

Beckett took her eyes off the road. "Talking or yelling?" 

Castle smiled and turned to face her, bouncing on the seat like a little girl at a slumber party sharing secrets.

"Talking, they were actually talking civil to each other. I missed the first bit but they were going to get together tonight to talk about them. Actually sit down and discuss their relationship."

Beckett was surprised Lanie had been pretty closed mouth about the whole break up. All she had said was that it hadn't worked out and left it at that. Lanie didn't want things to be awkward for her, seeing how she had to work with Esposito too. Which had been fine for her, she didn't want to get stuck in the middle. Yet Lanie was her friend and she only wanted to see her happy, and Espo made her happy.

"Well why didn't Espo say anything when it came up that someone had to go and speak to the victims brother."

Castle shrugged. "I don't know, maybe he was getting cold feet. He doesn't know that I know he was meeting Lanie tonight.. I had to make a big entrance of walking in whistling so that Lanie and Esposito wouldn't know that I was coming." He laughed at the memory of his two friends springing apart like they were two teenagers getting caught kissing in the back of a car. "So anyway I knew he had his date or what ever it is with Lanie. I didn't want them to have to cancel, so I pretended to really want to go."

Beckett nodded. She really didn't want to go out in this weather but if she had known that Espo and Lanie were going to have a proper talk, she would have volunteered herself.

"Wait what about Ryan you said this was for Ryan too."

"Jenny has been working alot of hours lately, early mornings, late nights, anyone would think she was a cop. Anyway her boss is giving her the night off for working so hard and Ryan wanted to do something special for her tonight. I offered to get him a reservation at an exclusive restaurant but he assured me Jenny would much rather a home cooked meal. I figured by the time Ryan got home from this, Jenny would be having a date with the sandman."

Beckett suddenly felt guilty for being angry at Castle. He had only been trying to help out both their friends. It was a nice gesture really and he was right, she didn't have any plans for the night. In fact she was kind of hoping Castle would invite her around for a move night or even grabbing a bite to eat a Remys . At the rate they were going, dinner was likely to be a packet of MMs. Rounding a slight curve the cabin came into site. The victim a 26 year old woman who was murdered at the back of a club, had only one living relative, her brother. According to her roommate he lived out in as she had put it "the sticks" avoiding the world. The roommate had also said the last time the brother came to visit the siblings had a very loud argument. So this was a sorry your sister is dead but what were you arguing about, visit. Parking the car, Beckett stepped out and almost slipped on the mud on the ground. It hadn't rained today but apparently according to the locals where they had stoped, it had been raining all week. The rushing of water coming from behind the cabin backed that up. Treading carefully Beckett made her way to the cabin and held onto the railing as she climbed up the damp steps. She waited for her partner to join her before she knocked on the door.

"Mr Laird. This is the NYPD."

The pair stood there and listened for movement but there was none. Beckett knocked on the door again.

"Mr Laird we are here to talk to you about your sister could you please open up."

When silence hit them again Beckett tried the handle but it was locked.

"I am going to look by the stream," Castle told her. "Maybe he is out there fishing."

Beckett nodded and allowed him to go, they had no reason to believe this man was dangerous. Walking over to one of the windows on the front of the cabin she tried to peer in but couldn't see much through the curtain. Well curtain was a bit of an overstatement, it was more of a rag covering the glass. Follow the direction Castle had gone Beckett made her way around to the side of the cabin. She saw another small building ,too big for an outhouse.. Based on the wooden stump and shards of word on the ground near it she assumed it must be a wood shed. Spying a few more windows Beckett approached them and was glad when one seemed to be unobstructed. Peering in she noticed the cabin was very basic. There seemed to be a fire place, a table with one chair a medium size bed and an inch of dust covering everything. She knew most men were pigs and didn't clean up after themselves but this was more than that. It looked as though this place hadn't been used in months. Beckett groaned, they had been sent on a wild goose chase.

"Castle," she yelled out. The sooner they got out of here the better. The wind was picking up and the clouds looked like they were about to burst. There was also no phone reception up here so they couldn't call Ryan and Esposito to let them know what was going on.

"Castle, come on."

"I'm right here."

She turned and berated herself for not hearing the writer walk up.

"There is dust on everything. He's not here, hasn't been here for a while. Let's go before the storm hits."

She walked back around the cabin this time hearing him follow her. Giving the cabin one last glance she turned to walk down the steps and slipped. She cried out and reached for the railing, only catching herself at the very last second, before her butt hit the steps.

"Are you ok?"

His arms were under hers, picking her up before she even had a chance to respond. She rolled her shoulders and shook him off.

"Yeah."

This time holding onto the railing with a vice like grip she descended the slippery stairs and made her way over to her car. As she opened the door a big fat drop of water laded on her nose. Crap.

"Castle, get in now."

"You want me to drive."

"No just get in" she yelled for the second time.

He got into the car and lowered his window a bit.

"What are you doing?" she had just slammed the car in reverse and was trying to figure out how to get out of there.

"Oh come on Beckett it's just a little bit of rain. I want to smell the fresh air a bit before we get back to the smog of the city."

Beckett shook her head, she didn't have time for this. Manoeuvring the car in a tight circle she finally had then facing the right way and heading down the road they had only just come up barely minutes before. Castle reached into the back and fished out the crushed map and tried to return it to it once pristine state. Once they hit main roads they could use the GPS again but he knew from past experiences GPS liked to take you all over the place. He liked to play it old school and look at a real map to see if he could find a quicker way back home. Following a road with his finger until it led to a fold in the map Castle attempted to unfold the map with one hand. His other stayed on the map so he would lose the road. He unfurled a large section of the paper when a gust of wind once again entered the car. Déjà vu hit Castle as the map was ripped from his hands but this time covered Beckett's face. She screamed at her lack of vision and took her hands from the steering wheel to remove the map only to reveal a wall of trees. She didn't have time to react before the car collided with the trees with a sickening thud. Becket felt her body fly forward before being pulled back by her seat belt. She lay there with her eyes closed trying to fathom what had just happened. When she heard a groan coming from beside her she opened her eyes and cast them to the man sitting next to her.

"Castle are you alive?" She hadn't been going that fast maybe 25 miles.

"Yes but I got a feeling I won't be for much longer, once you get your hands on me. I am really sorry Beckett."

"You shouldn't have had your window open."

"I know."

"The map did the same thing not 20 minutes ago"

"I know"

"Get out the car"

"I kno... What?"

Beckett undid her seat belt thankful she had been wearing it in the first place. She took another glance at the front of the car only to reaffirm what she already knew. The car was going nowhere tonight.

"Get out the car Castle."

"Why?" he asked a little confused. Was this like that sick game where you gave people a 5 second head start to run before they shot you?

"Because the storm is coming and we have to get out of here. The car is a mess and we can't stay here."

Castle was confused and honestly a little scared. "But don't they always say stay with the vehicle."

Beckett shrugged. "You want to stay and freeze to death that's fine; I am heading back to the cabin."

Pulling out her note pad she scrawled a quick note to whomever might find the car that they were heading to the cabin and left it on the seat. She then opened the door and stepped out into the fray.

"Shouldn't we try head back to civilisation" Castle had climbed out of the car and began to follow the detective into the storm. The wind was whipping around his open coat but he didn't have time to button it, Beckett was moving fast.

"The cabin is five minutes this way by foot, we will have a better chance of survival if we head there than try to make it to the main road. Only a crazy person would be out in this weather, we can't guarantee someone will drive past and help us."

Survival! It hadn't even occurred to Castle that they might not survive. The crash had caused a bit of damage to the car but they both seemed ok. He would probably feel the soreness in the morning. Trying to follow Beckett's footsteps he found himself slipping on the newly wet ground. It didn't take much rain for it to become sloppy and squishy. Beckett had been sticking to the side of the road which under normal circumstances was the right thing to do, if there were likely to be cars using the road. In this case it wasn't. The sides of the road seemed muddier than the middle which was probably due to the way the top of the road was almost curved. Castle watched as the light rain hit the road then trickled down either side. He imagined in a torrential downpour the sides of the roads would become mini rivers. He took a few steps towards the middle of the road and immediately found it easier to walk. He watched as Beckett walked along the slippery road way occasionally throwing her hands out to the sides as if she were walking a tight rope.

"Beckett walk over here, it's easier."

Beckett looked over her shoulder at him as she continued to walk.

"I am fine Castle lets just get to the cabin before it starts raining harder."

As she turned her head back her boot slipped on muddy surface, and Castle watched in horror as her arms went flailing back. Beckett landed on her back in what had to be the biggest muddiest puddle along the whole roadway.

"Oh god Beckett. Are you ok."

As nimbly as he could Castle made his way over to Beckett.

"I am fine Castle."

He watched as she rolled to her side then moved onto her hands and knees. She lifted her head up as she pushed off on her toes like a runner starting a race, except her foot slipped and she went sprawling face first into the mud. Her head rose out for the mud with an audible gasp. Castle tried not to laugh but she looked like a kid who had eaten a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. She tried to get to her feet but was failing miserably. Despite being covered in mud Castle approached Beckett and tried to pull her up from the mud.

"I don't need your help" she scowled him while being yanked up from behind in much the same way he had hauled her up from the stairs.

When she was finally on her feet she turned to look at him, his front now covered in mud.

"Why won't you listen? I said I didn't need help. I said shut the window."

She took a step forward and her foot slipped yet again causing her to careen in Castle. He lost his footing and with his arms wrapped around Beckett he fell to the ground landing on his back much like Beckett had done. He lay there in the mud. Rain dripping from the heavens on to his body, mud seeping into his skin from the ground and a very angry Beckett laying on top of him. She pushed off of him and then crawled along the ground like she was in an army obstacle. Castle followed her actions as she seemed to be succeeding in getting out of the mud. When she made it to the slightly drier surface of the middle of the road, she sat there looking down at herself. Castle joined her and began to run his hands down his arms trying to scrape away the thick mud.

"This is disgusting."

"It's just mud Castle" she said checking her father's watch to see if it had gotten damaged.

As he ran his hand down his body he pulled out a chunk and took a closer look at it before his eyes widened in horror and he threw the offending article away. He then began to sniff himself. Oh god it was worse than disgusting.

"Umm Beckett I think it's more than mud."

She stopped the perusal of her own body, Castles words sinking in. If this wasn't just mud then what was it. She realised his sniffing wasn't because it was cold it was because he was smelling himself. She copied him and it soon became obvious that he was sniffing the horrible smell that was coming off their bodies. Oh god how had she not smelt that before. It was horrible, it was disgusting, it was... Oh god what else was brown and smelled horrible. She didn't even want to think about it. Pushing herself off the ground this time finding steady feet she quickly made her way to the cabin. She had to get out of these muddy, wet, cold, rank clothes.

"Oh god this is gross" Castle bellowed from behind her.

"This is disgusting." He complained again.

Beckett wiped her mud covered arm over her mud covered face. Castle moaning and groaning was getting on her nerves. She was covered in it more than he was and she wasn't complaining, well ok she was but not out loud. It wasn't her fault he was covered in mud. She had told him she was fine he didn't have to help her but that was the way Castle was . Always wanting to help wether people wanted it or not.

"Oh it's in my hair."

Beckett stopped that was it, she had enough. She was covered in mud, it was raining, and she had this huge pain in her ass.

"Castle shut up."

"Hey I'm just"

Beckett spun around to look at him.

"No just shut up ok, I am sick of hearing you whinge. It's not my fault you are covered in mud. I told you I was fine, I didn't need help."

Castle couldn't believe she was getting so angry at him. "You couldn't even stand up, I was trying to help."

"I didn't need help Castle, I didn't ask for help Castle, I don't want help!"

Castle shook his head that was Katherine Beckett's one major fault. Help. She wanted to give it to the innocent but she never wanted to be the innocent. She never wanted to accept help from anyone regardless of the fact that she often needed it. This was not the time. This wasn't the place. Yet if not now, when.

"What kind of person doesn't accept help when it is offered freely?"

Beckett scoffed at him. He was taking a stab at her with his thinly concealed subtext. "What kind of person? Me. This kind of person. I don't accept help and you know what Castle, I am sick of justifying myself to you. If you don't like it, well you know where the door is, feel free to walk through it."

She was trying to get rid of him. Here out in the middle of the woods she was trying to get rid of him. When things got hard Katherine Beckett struck out against the world and expected the world to just back off and leave her alone. Well not this time

"That's what you would like isn't it Beckett. For me to just walk away like everyone else has in your life, when you got to difficult."

When you got difficult, not when things. Castle was insinuating that she had pushed people away.

"Well your wrong there Castle because I keep pushing you away yet you keep coming back for some reason. Why is that huh? Why do you keep coming back for more torture? What kind of person puts up with that?"

She watched as the man with the gift of the gab stood there silent. She had finally bested him. Darkness then descended upon her but it wasn't in the sky it was in his eyes. Maybe she had thought to soon.

"You want to know why I put up with your crap Kate. You want to know why I keep coming back for more. I'm stupid, I'm an idiot"

Beckett spun around she didn't need to hear him sprout off things she already knew.

"God dammit I love you."

_Authors Note:_

_So what do you think so far?_

_Becketts a little bit over angry but hey she needed to be for the next bit._

_Review for more Casketty Goodness_


	2. Chapter 2

"God dammit I love you."

Beckett froze then, not because of the cold mud seeping though her clothes or the water falling from the sky. She froze at his words. He loved her. The words resounded in her head like that had for many months after the shooting. He loved her. The idea had her laughing out loud.

"Love."

She turned to face him. "How can this be love" she said gesturing between them. "How could you love someone like me? Someone so messed up. You're in love with the idea of being in love Castle. The kind of love I can't give you. You want a fairy tale yet I am a horror story. You're a writer Castle. You have probably written out everything you want to happen between us from first date Until the day we die. You probably have multiply versions of it all, but tell me this. When you pictured the first time you told me you loved me, did you picture it in a cemetery holding me in your arms while I was dying. No I don't think so. Yet that's the kind of relationship you would have with me Castle, nothing fairytale about that is there."

She then turned again and at an almost run, headed towards the cabin. Castle stood there watching Beckett run away from him like she had so many times before. She was right, he had envisioned lots of ways of telling her he loved her. Cuddling on the couch and kissing her goodnight on her doorstep were some of his favourites but he had never imagined he would tell her in a ceme..., Hold on a second, what had she said? She had said in a cemetery. Not in the middle of the woods covered in mud, and well other stuff. She had said in a cemetery while she lay dying in his arms. She remembered! She knew. How could she have known and not said anything to him.

He chased after her, mud and rain be dammed. She was just getting to the cabin when he caught up to her.

"When did you remember?"

He watched as she stopped.

"When did you remember what I said at the funeral?" He asked again.

"I didn't." She wouldn't turn to look at him so he walked around and stood in front of her.

"Don't lie to me Kate; you just said I told you I loved you in a cemetery. You remembered."

Beckett stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before finally shaking her head.

"I didn't remember, I never forgot."

Rage built up inside of castle.

"This whole time you knew and you didn't say anything."

"What difference does it make Castle?"

Castle jaw hung open. "What difference does it make? It would have made a hell of a lot of difference."

"How" she challenged him. "How would it have made any difference? If anything it would have made it worse."

Castle lip began to tremble. "How is me knowing you know I love you going to make things worse Beckett.

"Think about it Castle. I have woken up in a cold sterile hospital, with two things on my mind. I have been shot and Castle loves me. Which one of those things do you think was in the fore front of my mind, huh. Then my first visitor is Josh. My Boyfriend. You tell me you love me when you know I am with someone else. What did you want me to do Castle? Just jump from his bed to yours. He walks out of the hospital room and you walk in, like it's that easy, like you're interchangeable. The point is Castle I wasn't ready to deal with your feelings and I was too busy trying to figure out my own. That's why I went away. That's why I didn't contact you, I had to figure out what it all meant."

"You should have told me, I would have given you space. Hell I did give you space."

"No Castle all you gave me were more things to worry about. Think about what would have happened if you knew I knew. From my perspective not yours. I wasn't ready for a relationship and you're willing to wait. Yet every little smile I give you, every little touch has you jumping to conclusions that I am ready when I am not. I didn't want things to be awkward Castle; I just wanted things to stay the way they were."

"Change is enviable Beckett you can't stop it. It's the most miserable people who most fear change. I only want for you to be happy. "

She shook her head. "No you only want me to be happy if I am with you."

She then pushed past him and made her way up the stairs that led to the cabin. He let her go. He needed to think. Had there been any truth to what she had said. Had he been its all about me. He sat on the stairs and ran a muddy hand though his muddy hair. Would things have been different if he knew she knew. So many times over those three months she was away he had wanted to call her. He had picked up the phone at least once a day, yet had hung it up again. She had said she would call and she hadn't. Ryan and Esposito hadn't received calls either so he at least felt that it wasn't just him. Did she have a point, what did it matter if he knew she knew. Just knowing didn't mean she loved him back. It didn't mean anything at all except that she knew he loved her. He was still angry, angry as all hell.

When he heard the sound of glass breaking he turned around suddenly.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked watching Beckett clear the window free of glass with a stick.

"Well you may want to sit around all day sulking but I actually want to survive the night."

He watched as she then disappeared in through the window. A few seconds later the door opened slightly. She was letting him in but she wasn't inviting him in. Getting up he walked into the cabin and saw Beckett was getting to work, immediately throwing open the curtains to let the last of the dying light in. Castle glanced around the place. It would do for the night. First rule of survival was shelter which they now had. What was the next one? Was it heat or was it food? It must be heat because Beckett had already made her way over to the fireplace and was rearranging the wood that was there. He looked around the room trying to figure out what he should do. Spying the curtain flapping in the wind thanks to the window Beckett had broken in order for them to get inside, he decided that need to be fixed first. Broken windows got boarded up right. With what? Well board of course. He looked around the small cabin. Bed, fire place, a cauldron looking pot handing from a pole near the fireplace, how cool was that? Chair, table, cupboard. Cupboard! Well it was kind of a board, and it was right next to the window. Walking around to face it he summed up his options, he could push it or he could push it. Tackling the problem from the side he pushed as hard as he could. The cupboard moved an inch. He tried again, another inch. Changing his position slightly he bent low and with an almighty heave he had the cupboard moving. The effort caused Beckett to look around and frown at him. Once she realised what he was doing she went back to her own task. Castle looked at the cupboard now covering the window and realised it shouldn't have been so heavy. There had to be something in it. Throwing open the doors he looked at there merger supplies. The top shelf held what he hoped were fishing supplies based on the knives and hooks. He gazed over the rest of the contents making a mental list of what they could use.

"Start dammit"

He turned to see Beckett struggling to start a fire.

"You want me to do that?" He made sure not to use the word help. She still had her gun on her and she knew how to use it.

"Yeah right. This is a real fire place Castle not one of those ones where you flick a switch it automatically turned on."

Ok so he knew that, but he figured he might be able to do it differently to her, that was all. He should have known better. He turned back to the cupboard. On the last shelf sat a large plastic tub, like the ones he used for all of Alexis teddy bears when she had gotten to told for them, but not to old that she wanted them thrown away. He hauled it out and saw there were two thread bare towels and some sheets. Although they were white, well grey, they too had seen better days, but they at least looked clean. He figured these would come in handy as clothes as by the look of it there were none in the cabin. looking at the bed that stood a few feet away from him, he realised it was covered in dust. There was no way he was putting, what he thought were half decent sheets on that filthy thing. Leaving the tub and its contents where it was he walked over to the bed pickled up the cover that was on it and gave it a huge flick. Dust went everywhere and he immediately started coughing. He didn't stop though, he flicked it a few times until it got to a point where he thought, yep I could sleep under that. With that done and another glare from Beckett he took the contents from the tub and dumped it on the bed. Looking at the empty tub he realised this could come in handy too. Looking back in the cupboard he started pulling out a few more items. Two buckets and a jug went into the tub as well as a long wooden ladle. Cups and soap followed. He rejoiced when he saw a few cans of food that didn't look too rusted. Pumpkin and minestrone soup. He immediately thought of his family. Alexis his pumpkin naturally, and his mother the minestrone. Well she was just like it, full of lots of different things yet still turned out to be pretty good. His search for cutlery yielded a fork missing a prong and a spoon that was bent. Bending it back in shape he held it up in triumph but then realised this wasn't the time to be boasting over his strength. Again returning to the task at hand he was glad when he found a bar of soap and then finally the best prize of them all. His hand clasped around the item and he turned to Beckett.

"Hey lo..."

He watched as she stormed past him and out the door.

"Wait where are you going?."

She stopped but didn't turn around, something that was becoming a habit. "The fire isn't going to light itself. I think there is a wood shed behind the house, I am going to check to see if there is anything of use in it."

He held up his hand to tell her what he found but she was already moving to fast. He shrugged well if that was the way she wanted to be then fine. Castle approached the fire and saw that Beckett had set up the half charred logs. He didn't have much experience but he knew you hands to light it in the middle, right? He unfurled his hands to reveal the box of matches he had found. Pulling out a match he struck it on the side, and nothing happened. He tried again, still nothing. He closed his eyes and prayed.

"Come on come on, third times a charm."

He tried again but because his eyes were shut he missed, so he didn't count that one and tried yet again. Eureka. The thin stick in his hand glowed with light and warmth. He quickly placed it under the wooden structure and was shocked when something caught alight. He didn't question what it was just stood there in fascination. I am man, I create fire! Castle watched as the flames slowly grew engulfing the wood.

Castle then turned his attention to the cauldron, not only was it cool but he thought it had to be functional. He was right, a hinge on the wall rotated enough that the cauldron was able to swing into the fire. It probably had been meant for making huge stews but Castle had other ideas for it. Castle pushed the cauldron on top of the flames, using a pole with a hook on the end, he had found on the ground. With the pot heating up he made his way over to his tub of supplies. He dragged it over to the fire but not to close, it was plastic after all. He then set out all the things he would need. The soup cans were opened, thanks to the ring pull, bets invention ever, and placed in front of the fire. If he put them in the fire he had no way of getting them out and he didn't want to disrupt the delicate structure Beckett had created. He then grabbed the buckets and sighed in dismay when he realised they had no handles. This was going to take a bit longer. With one bucket in hand he scooped up the two cups and made his way outside into the rain. Placing the cups on the railing he made his way around the side of the cabin.

He saw Becket coming towards him but she barely spared him a glace so he continued to make his way to the stream. It was raining slightly harder now and the stream was running faster than it had been when he had checked before. Stepping into the water he shivered at how cold it was, his clothes were soaked through but it wasnt until that moment he realised how cold he really was. Dunking the bucket into the river he scooped up as much as he could and made his way back to the cabin. As he walked in he saw Beckett kneeling by the fire shivering. So the cold had gotten to her too. He walked over to the fire and placed the bucket on the ground.

"Excuse me," just because he was angry didn't mean he couldn't use manners. "I need to move the pot."

Beckett shuffled back and he used the tool to hook around the arm and swung the pot out from on top of the flames. He then poured the bucket of water into the cauldron before placing it back over the flames. Without a word to Beckett he picked up his bucket and made his journey back out into the storm. He filled up his bucket yet again and turned to leave when he saw Beckett standing there the other bucket in her hands. He placed the one he had filled on the ground and reached for hers. The water was icy and there was no reason the both of them to get even more wet. When he turned with the second bucket filled, Beckett was already on her way back to the cabin. Castle wasted no time in following her. When both buckets were empty they made their way out for a third time filling their bucket with water from the stream. This time Castle only emptied one bucket into the cauldron before settling it back over the flames.

"But there is still one bucket filled with water."

Ahh she speaks.

"We will need it in case the water is too hot."

"What are we doing with the water anyway"

Castle looked at her surprised.

"If you didn't know what we were doing with it then why did you help?"

Beckett shrugged. "There is usually a reason behind your madness."

Castle stared at her. Moments earlier they had been screaming at each other, yet she still trusted him. The way her mind worked still puzzled him.

"We need to get out of these wet clothes and we need to get warm. We will take turns standing in the plastic tub and pouring the water over ourselves. There is even soap and everything."

Beckett looked over the things her had laid out. He had thought of everything. Her only thought had been to get heat, his had been to get them clean. Although it really shouldn't surprise her, he had been complaining about the smell. When he stared shedding his clothes Beckett turned away.

"I'm only removing the outer layers," he told her. "I won't remove anything else until the water is ready."

Beckett nodded and turned to see he was right. He had removed his shoes and jacket and was currently unbuttoning his shirt to reveal the once white t shirt beneath. His pants remained firmly in place. She copied him and removed her jacket and outer top leaving her in a black camisole and her skinny leg jeans, which were tight before but were now practically glued on. Together they sat in the state of half undress, neither of them talking both focused on the flames.

So what do you think so far?


	3. Chapter 3

When the water began to bubble Castle got to work again. He moved the tub a bit closer to the fire before setting out the towel and the sheets.

"It's probably better if I go first."

Beckett shrugged at him.

"I mean it's just we will probably have to he." He stumbled over the word. "We will probably have to work together in order for it to work. One of us will have to stand in the tub while the other hands the water over. The water is to hot so we will have to mix it first in the jug with cold water. I suggest we stay in our underwear, as even if we turn our backs" he looked away nervously. "Well you know. Anyway once we have a towel on we can wash whatever needs washing. The towels aren't very big or thick so I suggest getting wrapped up in the sheets after we are done. That's why I think I should go first. You won't be able to move around much once your wrapped up."

Beckett nodded at him. "You sound like you have done this before."

Castle nodded ay her. "When Alexis was younger she wanted to go camping but Meredith wouldn't hear of it. So I told her we were going to stay in cabin. She had it in her head that it was going to be some flashy cabin with electricity, tvs and hair driers. Truthfully it wasn't much better than this. Alexis and I had the best time, hiking, fishing, bathing in the river, but Meredith wouldn't have any of it. So we rigged up this system for her. Not that she really did anything to get dirty. Just sat in a chair all day reading her magazines." He shook his head. "Anyway let's get this over with."

Beckett stepped closer and watched as Castle prepared the first jug of water. Using the ladle he scooped up water and placed it into the jug until it was half full. He then added a scoop or two of the cold water they had kept aside in the other bucket. Placing a finger in he stirred it slightly before nodding.

"I think this temperature is ok"

Beckett dipped her own finger in to feel the temperature he wanted the water at. She then stood with her back to him. Passing the jug back and forth while he bathed behind her. Once he was finished she got her own jug prepared. She watched as he came and stood beside her next to the fire, clad only in a sheet. His chest was bare and she tried not to look at it. She was angry at him, she really was. Taking a step back she removed the rest of her clothes and stepped into the murky water that Castle had left behind. It was still warm and she felt herself melt and would have nose dived into it if she had the opportunity.

Beckett ran the soap over her body, she needed to get rid of that smell. Whatever the smell was. Castle had implied that it was mixed with animal faeces and she winced at the thought. She was covered in crap and she felt like it. Dropping the soap she took the fresh jug of water that Castle offered her. Pouring the water over her body Beckett understood what Castle had meant by defrosting, the warm water felt good against her skin. However it ran out all too quickly. Handing back the jug to Castle for a refill she picked up the soap and began to wash her body all over again. Most of the dirt had washed off but not all of it. The smell lingered and she had a feeling it was from her hair that now hung tangled down her back. Spying the new jug ready and waiting for her she dropped the soap into the murky water her feet were standing in and reached for it. Tilting her head back Beckett brought the jug to head but winched as she lifted her arm in an arc. She tried again but still the pain radiated from her shoulder blade. Beckett rolled her shoulder a few times and tried a third time with the same result. Had it been the slip on the stairs that had done it, or the accident, or slipping in the mud multiple times. Either way her shoulder was sore and would most likely to get worse with out treatment. Transferring the jug to her left hand, she eagerly awaited the warmth that the water would bring, but it didn't come. As she lifted her left arm she felt the pull of skin. She crouched and tried again but the same thing happened with both arms. Hanging her head down Beckett tried not to cry. She needed to get clean, she needed not to smell, she needed help. She closed her eyes, she needed help. She didn't want help but she needed it. The person that sat inches away had offered help earlier and she hadn't accepted it. It was the reason they had gotten into their fight. Her secret had come out because she had been too proud to ask for help. Asking for help to her had always held to feelings of inadequacies it always led to trouble. Yet not asking for help had caused even more. She needed help, this wasn't about egos this was about survival. Opening her eyes she stared down at his soft brown hair that was slowly drying thanks to the heat of the fire.

"Castle,"

His head twitched as if he was shocked by her voice. His arm flailed behind him.

"I can't find the jug."

"No," she shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "The jug is still full of water."

"Then what did you want?" Beckett couldn't help but notice the slight edge in his voice. He was angry. Well so was she but she was offering an olive branch, of sorts

"I need..." The words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. "I can't lift my arm."

He turned his head to look her way but then quickly turned it back as if realising he shouldn't be looking at her in her state of undress.

"Are you alright?" She noticed the anger had turned to sincerity and she felt her heart clench. She had lied to him yet he still cared. Cared about her, and that really had her dumbfounded.

"I'm a bit sore all over, but the pain gets worse if I try to lift the jug above shoulder height. I need to wash my hair and I cant."

"Well. Ummm. Why don't you try crouching down and doing it that way."

"I tried it still means lifting my arm."

She watched as he ran a hand though his hair before shrugging. "Well I don't know what else to do."

Help. Help me. She couldn't say the words but she didn't know even if she did if he would help.

"Can you do it for me?."

He sat there deathly still before he stared to move.

"You know that means I would have to turn around."

Beckett looked down at her body. She wasn't sure what was more humiliating, asking Castle for help or having Castle see that she was wearing black superman underwear.

"I know."

He stood up awkwardly and readjusted his sheet on his waist before taking a deep breath and turning to face her. Castle eyes latched onto hers and she watched as they didn't stray. Taking the jug from her hand ,he took a step closer and slowly poured the water over her head. Beckett closed her eyes as the warm swept over her. She stood there with her eyes closed even after the water had finished running. Having the water running over her knowing it had been Castle to provide it somehow felt cleansing. The yelling that they had done before seemed to wash away. The anger she felt seemed to recoil as if it were a fire and the water was slowly dousing it. Hearing the noise of water being splashed into a jug Beckett opened her eyes and watched as Castle tenderly prepared another jug of water for her. When he turned back to her she held the soap out to him.

"Could you. Umm."

He looked stunned that she would be asking that of him and under normal circumstances she probably wouldn't. He took the soap with one hand and offered her the newly filled jug with the other.

"Excuse me."

She freaked out a little when she saw he bend down with the soap towards her legs. She had said hair, she didn't mean the hair on her legs. When he plunged the soap into the murky water briefly and then rubbed the soap in his hands she relaxed.

"The soap doesn't really lather all that well."

Beckett watched as he kept adding water to his hands until he got a decent amount of soapiness going. He then awkwardly stood the sheet around his waist restricting his movements, she now understood why he wanted to go first. There was no way she would be able to move around freely with the sheet wrapped tightly around her. She watched as he tentatively moved his hands to her hair as if scared of what she might do if he made a mistake. She gritted her teeth in anticipation. As his hands hit her scalp she took a deep breath in trying not to groan, his hands felt amazing. Most woman loved going to the hairdressers and having them wash their hair and give their scalp a little massage. She hated it, yet this, this was different. Even though he had the soap in one hand and used his other to draw her long hair up into the soapiness the gentle way his hands ran over her head was so relaxing. She knew she shouldn't be enjoying this, she knew she was angry at him, she knew this, but she didn't care. When his hands stopped she opened her eyes, had she given herself away. Castle didn't seem to notice as he dropped the soap back into the water and reached for the jug. Placing one hand to her fore head as if he had done this before he poured the warm water over her hair. He bent down to fill the jug up again before pouring the water over her long locks raking his hands though them. Another jug gone Castle was quick to get another one filled. The fire was blazing yet the cabin still hadn't warmed up much, it was only the closeness to the fire that stooped them from freezing in there state of undress. Beckett realised she stood there in the middle of the cabin in her underwear, with a man who had confessed to loving her on more than one occasion, yet she didn't feel like running. Castle had just bathed her and she had been ok with it. She had showered with numerous boyfriends, stood stark naked with them and had felt apprehension about it. Yes she was covered with a few scarps of black fabric, yet she honestly thought she could be naked and feel the same way. This wasn't about sex like previous bathing encounters yet this was so much more intimate. Beckett shook her head, she shouldn't be thinking like this. Not now, not when she was angry at him .

"You don't want another rinse of your whole body," Castle asked misinterpreting her movement.

"Oh. Yes I do," she nodded her head emphasising her point. A drop of water ran down her forehead, along her jaw then and down her throat. Beckett watched as Castles eyes followed that same drop as it ran over her chest and disappeared into her bra. She watched as he his seemed glued to that spot and she looked down to see if maybe somehow a breast had come free from its restraint. It hadn't. He was looking at her scar. She gazed over it before looking at him, his eyes now focused on hers.

"It's ugly, I know."

When he nodded Beckett stood there shocked.

"You didn't have to agree with me."

Castle turned away from her then.

"What do you want me to say Beckett. Did you want me to recite poetry about how the scar is beautiful because it is a part of you and you're beautiful. Come on we both now that is crap, you wouldn't believe me even if I did say that." He turned around anger clearly had returned to the normally subdued writer. He pointed at her chest. "That scar is ugly; I can't even bare to look at it."

Beckett covered her body with her hands effectively concealing the scar. She couldn't believe he was saying these things to her. It wasn't anything she hadn't said to herself once she had the courage to look at it in the mirror, yet to hear those same words from him. It was like being shot all over again. She watched as the man before her started to breathe heavy.

"That scar is ugly," this time it was uttered as if he were crying. She looked at his eyes and they looked glassy but it wasn't very bright in the cabin. Could it be a trick of light because of the fire? "I put that ugly scar on your beautiful body. That scar is there because of me."

Beckett dropped her arms and looked down at scar.

"Castle it's not your fault I got shot."

"Yes it is." He was now yelling through tears. "I may not have pulled the trigger but I sure as hell put the gun in his hand. I did it the day I asked Esposito to show me your mother's file. I considered you my friend and you were in pain and I wanted to stop it. Who did I think I was, fucking Superman, trying to save everyone. Because of me you have you have a daily reminder of how stupid I can be, how I don't listen to instructions. I shot you Kate." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I shot you."

Beckett tried to come up with something to say to his admission but couldn't. She was shocked. Not because she believed a word that he said , she didn't. She was shocked that he believed it. How could someone who was so smart, be so stupid?

"Castle no."

He cut her off by throwing his arms up and walking away. She turned and watched as he walked towards the door. Fear filed her when he opened it and ran outside but he returned moments later with two cups in his hand. He placed them on the windowsill before sitting down on the bed and putting his head in his hands. She watched as he stayed that way. Not moving, not talking, she wondered if he was even breathing. Should she go to him, talk to him, explain. Dread filled her. While she had spent her months away from him thinking about the fact that he loved her, had been thinking about the fact that he had almost killed the woman he loved. Standing there in her underwear Beckett contemplated what she had to do. If the situation was reversed she would want space. She was still standing in the tub of dirty water and their clothes were in a pile near the fire. Space, she would give him space. If he didn't try to talk to her than she would leave it , for now.

She rinsed off her body with the water that Castle had made for her before stepping out of the water. She wrapped the towel around herself and quickly dispensed with her underwear, using the last bit of water in the jug to clean the rest of her. Grabbing the sheet Castle had left her she wrapped it around her body like she was a mummy. Attempting to walk, was almost pointless so she unwound her gown and turned it into a cocktail dress. Movement was a lot easier now and that's exactly what she needed. While Castle sat with his back to her Beckett went through the motions of washing their clothes. It wasn't really necessary but now that she was clean she couldn't bare the thought of putting the dirty clothes back on. There was something almost therapeutic about hand washing clothes in a cabin in the middle of a storm. It reminded her of those historical novels she loved to read as a teen. The ones that were set out in the west back in the 1800s. She probably would have cut her hair short and dressed like a man in order to survive. Yet squatting in front of a tub of water that smelled horrible, cleaning their clothes in a cabin with no electricity was different. Different was the only way she could describe it. Her fathers cabin had been much like the one Meredith had hoped for. Yet being here in this rustic cabin had its charm to.

Using the last of the clean water Beckett rinsed her underwear than reached for Castles only to stare at it in shock. It matched hers, how as that possible. It was black Superman underwear. Black was the colour of Batman not Superman. Originally Beckett had bought a pair of wonder woman underwear to try out, they were great. The fit was perfectly and they didn't ride up her butt when she was chasing down a suspect. So she had gone back to buy more but they were out of wonder woman but they did have blue and red Super girl ones as well as the black Superman ones with a big silver s insignia over the butt. It was an unusual sight but underwear was underwear and they were "super" comfortable so she had bought them. To see Castle had the same unique pair made her smile, they were so different yet they were the same too.

After the underwear was washed she rolled it up in a towel and squeezed all the excess water out as she had done with all of there clothes. It would help the items to dry quicker. Placing the underwear close to the fire she noticed the cans of soup that Castle had placed there were now bubbling. She realised she was hungry , Castle must be to, they hadn't eaten since lunch. Wrapping a towel around each can and stopping at the table to drop a warped spoon and a mangled fork into each can before walking over to stand in front of Castle. He looked up at her noticing her presence and she had to keep her poker face in place. He had tear tracks down his cheeks, she had made him cry. Extending both cans out, Castle took one but didn't look very interested in eating.

"Can I sit?"

Castle turned his crestfallen face away from his soup and up at her, he shrugged before looking down again. Beckett sat next to him and copied his move of swirling his cutlery in the can. She looked up and out of the window that was next to the bed. It was dark outside now and she couldn't see anything except for their reflections thanks to the light from the fire. As if sensing she was looking at him through the reflection, Castle looked up and there eyes connected in the glass. Her mouth twitched into a smile for a second, her eyes trying to tell him so many things her heart wanted to say. Castle tore his eyes from the window and started eating his soup. Beckett shrugged and began eat too. Feed the stomach first feed the soul later. The soup wasn't all that bad and she eagerly gobbled it down. She should have really checked to see if there was more food for them to eat but hopefully it wouldn't be necessary. Hopefully Ryan and Esposito would figure out they never came home and send someone to look for them. If not, then tomorrow would be spent walking through the storm ravaged forest back to civilisation. It wouldn't take all that long, a few hours at the most but if it was still stormy and the ground muddy it might take longer. Either way they should be out of there in 24 hours so the need for more food wouldn't be required. So she shouldn't feel guilty about gobbling down her food.

When Caste finished his can he stood up and held a hand to take hers too. She could have gotten a few more spoonfuls out but she wasn't going to argue with him over this. He walked off and returned with the two cups he had brought in from outside. Looking at them with a curious eyes he shrugged before handing one to her.

"Its rain water. I figured it might be slightly better than boiled river water, but who knows."

She nodded and took the cup he offered, looked into it first to see if any tree matter had blown in before taking a few sips. Deciding to save some for later she then placed the cup back on the window sill where he had taken it from. She watched him in the window drinking from his mug but his eyes were trained on hers. The silence was unbearable, when he put his cup next to hers she turned to face him as best as she could wrapped in a sheet.

"Castle we need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4

"Castle we need to talk."

She hesitated in putting her hand on his thigh, she flexed her hand a few times before dropping it. The worst that he could do was lift it off, but he didn't. He sat there looking at her hand before shifting his gaze to her face.

"Castle, you didn't shoot me."

She couldn't believe it when he rolled his eyes at her. That was her thing, he couldn't do that to her, especially when she realised how horrible it felt to have someone do that to you.

"I know you mean your actions caused me to get to get shot but that's not true Castle. My actions got me shot, you tried to get me to back off but I wouldn't. Castle you were the first person to believe there was something worth investigating. You went searching for me. I know I was so angry at you at first, for so many different reasons, but those reasons don't matter anymore. Castle none of this is your fault."

He took a deep breath and shrugged at her, it was as if he only half agreed with what she said.

"Castle about my scar."

"I' m sorry I said those things Beckett. I shouldn't have."

She stroked his thigh trying to soothe him.

"Is that what you think of my scar though?"

He looked guilty as he nodded.

Beckett offered him a tight smile.

"I am glad you were truthful with me, and you're right, if you had said it was beautiful I probably would have laughed. It took me awhile to look at the scar once the wound heeled. I would make sure I had a top on before looking at myself in the mirror, I wouldn't even look down when putting on my bra. I used to agree with you, the scar was ugly."

"Was," he asked "Is it better now?"

Beckett shrugged. "A bit, but that's not why. You said this scar is a permanent reminder of how stupid my partner was. It's not. It is a permanent reminder and I now i smile whenever I see it."

"You smile when you see the scar, oh God why."

Even in the flickering light of the fire she could see she had really confused the writer.

"Castle I wear my mother's ring as a symbol of the life that I lost. I wear my father's watch as a symbol of the life I saved. I wear this scar as a symbol of the life YOU saved, of the life I almost lost."

He seemed shocked by her words.

"But I was a second too late."

Beckett took her hand off his thigh and grabbed for his hand. She held it between both of hers and gave it a squeeze.

"Castle do you realise if you were half a second to early it could have been you who was shot. If you were half a second later, the shooter could have reloaded and shot again this time killing me. You saved me that day Castle, don't ever doubt that. You always save me. Sometimes its knocking me to the ground so I don't get shot, other times its by providing me with coffee. You save me every time we have a bad case and you make me smile. You saved me from myself the first time I picked up one of you books. "

She removed a hand from clasping his and brought it up to her sheet covered chest. Placing her fingertips to the place where she knew where the scar was.

"I have a permanent reminder of how someone cared for me so much, that they were willing to risk it all for me. And that can never be an ugly thing."

She waited for him to respond but he didn't. He just sat there his hand clasped in hers, his blue eyes boring into hers. When she felt his hand tighten around hers she felt some relief.

"You really believe that."

"I do"

She watched as his mouth twitched into smile. "The scar is kind of like a Castle tattoo on your chest."

Beckett had to laugh at this. "Yes Castle I have you tattooed on my chest."

"You're right its not a bad thing." Castle sighed and took a deep breath. "I do want you to be happy Beckett and yes I would prefer if it were with me. You make me so happy Beckett and I had hoped that I did the same for you." His eyes left hers as they closed. "If I am not making you happy, if I am making miserable, than ill stop following you around." His eyes opened and focused on hers.

He had left before but he had always came back, yet the look he gave her told her there wouldn't be any coming back this time

"Do you still want to work with me considering that I lied to you."

Castle looked away from her. "I am still angry about it, but..." he sighed and his shoulders sagged. " I get why you did it, at least partly. I wasn't excepting you to say it back just for you to know how I felt. To know that no matter what you do I will always be here for you. You not wanting to acknowledge that feels like slap in the face. A rejection of me, of my love. I know now you were scared and confused. This girl in high school had a crush on me and I was so worried about even smiling at her, so I understand where you are coming from. It still hurts, but I understand. I hate it but I understand. I want to continue working with you but not if you think it would be awkward."

"It would be awkward without you there."

Castle opened his mouth to respond when the wind howled loudly outside. He had to laugh, they were always getting interrupted but never before had it been the wind.

"So if we are going to continue to work together, what's our plan of action for tomorrow." He asked trying to think about getting back home.

Beckett sighed. "Well I am hoping Ryan and Esposito will come looking for us. If not we will have to hoof it back to the highway."

"In this storm." Somehow it being dark outside made the storm seem that much scarier.

Beckett shrugged. "Well hopefully it will have died down. If not we are just going to have to go out in it. it's not going to be easy so we really should get some rest."

Castle nodded, "right well I guess it's time for bed then."

When Beckett smiled at him his mouth dropped open. "I mean sleep, we need to sleep."

She watched as he got up wether out of need or necessity she wasn't sure . He checked the door to make sure it was locked before going over to the fire.

"You can have the bed."

Beckett wasn't really surprised by his offer, Castle was always the gentleman.

"Castle there really isn't"

He held his hand up to halt her speech. "I am all for equality among the sexes but your hurt. You need it more than I do."

"Thank you but the bed is big enough for the two us to share."

Castle looked at the bed that Beckett was sitting on. "It's not that big."

She laughed at him. "Are you afraid you will catch my girl germs."

"No I am afraid you will shoot me if I accidently touch you. You once told me you sleep with your gun."

Beckett got off the bed and walked towards him. "If you accidently touch me I am not going to shoot you. Yes the bed isn't huge so there is a likely hood our limbs would touch, it can't be avoided. If we have to walk out of here tomorrow Castle it isn't not going to be easy even if the storm has stoped. We both need to be well rested Castle, we also need to be warm. The fire will probably barely last the night and I don't know about you but I am freezing unless I am right near the fire."

Castle reluctantly nodded, she was right.

"If I wake up and you're touching me more than you should, than ill gently remove your body parts"

Castles eyes widened. "That's what I am afraid of."

Beckett laughed at her own miss admission. "I meant I would take your hands or whatever off of me. Gently of course, and I expect the same from you."

Castles eyebrows arched. "Oh so that's how it's going to be is it Beckett."

Beckett shrugged . "Well I can't be accountable for what I do in my sleep."

"I'll hold you to that."

Castle walked over to the clothes Beckett had washed for them. He picked up a few items and turned them over and around to help them dry better.

"Hey we have the same underwear."

Beckett groaned and walked over to him . "Umm yeah I noticed."

"Here" He threw his white t shirt at her. "Its dry, it might be easier to sleep in."

Beckett looked at his shirt in her hands than back up at him, his naked chest practically gleaming at her.

"Don't you want to wear it?"

She had to at least pretend she wanted him to cover up.

"Well it looks like my underwear is dry so I can wear that. Yours looks like it is dry to, but I didn't check."

He looked almost embarrassed that he had looked at her underwear. As best as she could Beckett bent down and picked up her underwear. The bra was still a bit wet but her bottoms were fine, she looked at Castle who quickly turned around. Their backs to each other they removed their sheets and put on their underwear.

"Ill just get into bed first."

Without thinking she turned to look over her shoulder. Her eyes focused on Castle's brief clad butt as he ran run around the bed, the silver S insignia on his butt shining in the fire light. With her underwear on she wiggled into his shirt. Checking the fire one last time she ran for the bed and dived under the covers. She shivered under the cool sheets, she briefly wondered if they should have moved the mattress closer to the fire.

"It will get warm soon."

Beckett nodded she could already feel her body getting warmer. Somehow lying here in bed with Castle trying not to touch each other just seemed wrong. She rolled over onto her side and Castle looked at her.

"Are you ok?"

She shrugged. "I want to ask something of you but I am worried about what might you think."

His eyes narrowed as if trying to figure out what she wanted to ask him. He then raised his arm and pulled her to his bare chest. Beckett didn't even try and figure out how he knew it was what she needed. He always knew. Beckett snuggled deeply into his chest, how many times had she done this with a pillow at home. She wanted this, she wanted to snuggle with Castle every night, but she couldn't. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair to him. While she had spent time in her father's cabin recovering she had done alot of thinking. Primarily it had been about what Castle's love for her meant , but then there was also the bigger question. Why? Why did he love her? Why did he want to be with her?

"Out with it Beckett."

Beckett looked up at Castle surprised.

"I can practically here the little monkey inside your brain clapping his symbols together. What are you thinking about?"

Beckett bit her lip, did she really want to have this discussion while she was in bed with him.

"Why?"

Castle frowned at her.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to be with me. I can't give you what you want?"

He shook his head and pulled her to him tighter. "You said that before, what is it exactly you think I want from a relationship."

Beckett pulled herself out of his embrace and sat up.

"Oh come on Castle seriously look at me, is this seriously what you want?."

"Yes," he answered without even having to think about it. "Why is that so hard for you to believe?."

Right now Beckett really started to rethink her position on his intelligence.

"Ah because I am not some celebutant like your last two wives. I am a cop Castle a cop. I make average money, work terrible hours and the next time I get shot you might not be there to save me. Yeah that really screams ideal partner for Richard Castle master of the macabre."

Castle sat up next to her. "Yes you could get shot again, and I may not be there to save you, God forbid. We could have almost died today because I couldn't hold a map. Every day we do stupid things that could get us killed, but so what. Life is a gamble, you just gotta roll the dice." He shook his head at her. "Do you honestly think your terrible hours is going to turn me off you. Beckett I am a writer, I am hit with inspiration anytime of the day or night. I once wrote a sex scene on toilet paper while I was sitting on the toilet on a flight back from LA. I can sometimes write all night and sleep all day. Write for 3 days straight and then not write anything for 3 weeks. It's what I have to do in order to earn my living, same as you. Oh and you have to realise I don't care how much money you make. Even if I wasn't rich I wouldn't care what you made as long as what you did made you happy, and being a cop makes you happy. The fact that you don't do it for the money is one of the great things about you. Not to mention being a cop, that is hot." He shook his hand as if he had just burned himself.

Beckett pursed her lips trying not to laugh but there was still something nagging at her.

"But I am not like those other woman you have been with."

Castle leaned forward and brush back some of her wayward hair. 

"Exactly, your nothing like them. Your beauty is natural, it pure. You have a brain and you know how to use it and not for sinister things. Those woman are my exs for a reason, they weren't right for me."

Beckett gulped, his hand was still lingering on her jaw.

"And you think I am right for you."

Castle nodded at her. "I do. All those woman wanted from me is the limelight. Parties, galas, pictures in the paper. My credit card was there favourite thing along with jewellery, fancy dresses. Enjoying an old movie, playing laser tag, spending the day reading a good book in the sun wasn't part of the vision of being married to Richard Castle. "

"You don't want the parties, the fame?"

Castle shrugged. "The parties were part of my image and my image made me money. I needed the money to buy toys, in order to make me happy. I have found something that makes me happy and the only thing it will cost me is my heart and soul."

His heart and soul, his words touched in a way they had never before. He was baring it all to her. Her jaw began to quiver and it wasn't because she was cold.

"But Castle I am so messed up. My mother's case plagues me, I am stubborn, I won't ask for help, how you could want all that."

Castle scoffed.. "Do you think you are the only one with issues Beckett. I have two failed marriages, a play boy image, and an almost adult daughter. That's a lot of baggage to expect someone to deal with. I am not exactly squeaky clean prince charming here. I know you have issues Beckett and yet I am still here."

He wanted her; he wanted to be with her for no other reason than because he loved her for who she was.

"I am scared Castle."

"I am to Beckett."

Beckett frowned at him. "What are you scared about Castle?"

"Same thing you are, I'm guessing. I don't want to screw this up, but what scares me more is the never knowing, I have to at least try."

Beckett turned away from him now. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her head on them.

"Its different for me Castle."

"How?"

"If I screw this up with you Castle than I lose everything. For over ten years of my life when things went bad I knew I could always turn to you and you would make things better. If this doesn't work then what do I do? You won't be there and I don't know if I could hadle that."

"Ten years. I don't understand."

Beckett sighed and turned to look at him. "You books were always there for me, they got me through my mothers murder. If things didn't work out between us, I would lose you twice over."

She watched as his face dropped.

"I am sorry I didn't know. I shouldn't have pushed you. Maybe you were right. Me knowing that you know only makes it worse." He pulled back the sheets and went to climb out of the bed, "this really isn't a good idea."

"No Castle. Stay please."

He shook his head. "It will only make it harder for me. Being so close to you and knowing you don't feel the same way."

After all they had gone through he thought she didn't love him.

"That's not true Castle."

His mouth hung opened and he gaped at her before shaking his head confused.

"I just wanted what was best for you and I didn't think it was me. I hoped, but I thought I was being selfish thinking you could deal with all this."

"I've been dealing with it from day one."

Beckett nodded at him. "I know. I should have realised this."

"So what are you saying?"

Beckett took a deep breath, what was she saying. I love you, I want to be with you.

"I am willing to give us a chance, if you are?"

She watched as a smile spread across his face.

"Ok"

She smiled back at him.

"Ok."

Castle moved slightly towards her then stopped.

"Is it ok if I hold you, or is that too fast. Maybe I should sleep elsewhere."

"Castle" there was a hint of warning in her voice. "You are not going anywhere. Why don't we lie here like we were before and discuss the speed of our relationship tomorrow. We have a long walk after all."

Pulling the covers back over himself Castle settled down into the bed pulling Beckett into his arms. He didn't hear the sound of the wind outside. The horrible taste of the pumpkin soup he had eaten because he remembered Beckett hadn't liked it either, didn't seem so bad know. Somehow the putrid smell of mud and animal faeces didn't seem to bother him. The site of Beckett's hair all wiry like she had stuck her finger in a electrical socket didn't faze him. His whole world centred on the feel of the woman he loved being in his arms and the hope for a brighter day. There was still a long road ahead of them but he was willing to walk it, even if it meant slipping over in mud, and other stuff.]

The next morning Ryan and Esposito peered through the cabin window and stared the sleeping couple. Ryan raised his brows at his partner.

"So do you think they slept together?."

Esposito frowned at the younger detective before looking back at the couple.

"Well Castle does look naked."

Ryan pointed towards the fire.

"I think I see their clothes over by the fire."

The pair looked at each other and smiled before bumping fists. Deciding to let the pair continue sleeping they walked down the stairs.

"So when are you going to tell them, we knew the brother wasn't staying here anymore."

Esposito turned to his clearly delusional partner. "Me, you're the one who didn't tell her."

"Because you told me not to" Ryan fired back.

The pair climbed back into their car. It was freezing cold outside. The storm the night before had dropped the temperature considerably.

"I only told you not to, because Lanie told me to."

Esposito started the car and rubbed his hands together as the heater blew out the first puff of cold air.

"Fine tell Lanie to tell them."

Esposito shook his head at his partner. "I just got in her good books" he slammed his hand against the steering wheel accidently hitting the horn.

The two men froze in the car as the horn broke though the silence. Together they leaned forward and looked out the front window at the cabin. Two figures appeared at the window. Ryan and Esposito offered them a sheepish smile. Thankfully they were rewarded with huge smiles from the occupants inside the cabin before the pair disappeared. The pair sat in silence for a few minutes

"So Castle looked pretty happy," Ryan told Esposito.

Esposito nodded. "Beckett did too."

"I bet they did" Ryan said chuckling.

"I bet they didn't" Esposito challenged.

"Did"

"Didn't"

"So did"

"So didn't"

"Dude"

"Dude"

"Hey guys" Castles voice broke though the childish fight the two detectives were having.

The man was now fully dressed and was walking down the steps. When he stopped half way down and offered his hand to the woman behind him, the two detectives were shocked when she accepted it. And then didn't let it go. Ryan and Esposito watched as the 'couple' walked towards their car and climbed into the back.

"Boy are we glad to see the two of you," Castle said closing the door and sliding over closer to Beckett.

Ryan and Esposito turned in their seats to look at their friends.

"So what did the two of you get up to last night" Esposito asked wiggling his eyebrows at them.

Castle cast a nervous look towards Beckett who was biting her lip. Taking a deep breath she looked up at him and smiled. She then shocked the three men in the car by closing her eyes, laying her head on Castles shoulder and wrapping her arm around his waist.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

She opened her eyes and gave them one last smile

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

The end.

Authors note: Ok so what I would like to know is, what did you think. Loved I hated it. So out of character, it sucked. What?

Oh and new chapter of Aint No Mountain High Enough will be up soon I promise.


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